Last night I was told, “The older you become the more self absorbed you are!” This is added to a cache of “The older you become….” allegations that has come with more frequency as he changes and seems more needy and reliant on me!
First it was, “You’re mean!”
Then it became, “You are becoming intolerant!”
A few moments later I left the room, not in a huff, but under the pretense of no interest in the Military Channel and the sudden urgency of cleaning up the kitchen before turning in for the day.
I needed to mull over the accusation in private and test it’s validly. Was I really becoming more self -absorbed? Or was it just the fall out of a bad day? A bad day triggers my actions which is to retreat and not run the risk of stumbling in front of the Freight Train? He may see it as self absorbed but I know it as self preservation.
Yet, the remark had zapped me and the stinger hurt. Was I really becoming more self absorbed? Intolerant? Mean? Maybe so.
The other night one of the “girls” I work with told me she was diabetic. Since I am beginning to think I am diabetic I asked her how it came about.
I expected something along the lines of simplicity such as, “On an annual check –up” . What I got was a 10 minute history about her Dental office job, pissing some foreigner off, drinking a coca-cola, having a four pound tumor, the Doctor weighing 300 pounds and throwing back his head and laughing, one of the blood clots bursting and soaking a chair……..I had to stop her there as I was beginning to get squeamish and the answer to my question was not even on the horizon yet!
What was so bizarre about the whole thing was the entire time I was listening I barely heard her above the buzzing in my head. I was listening to an entirely different conversation presented to me by my sister in law about witnessing a bank robbery while eating at a restaurant across the street. “I had the roast beef with mashed potatoes and gravy. Not as good as mine, I swear they use instant. JJ had the salmon. I think he is dieting. I ate some of it, it was pretty good. I looked out the window and said ‘JJ is that your bank being robbed?’. JJ said, ‘No Mama that’s just the police making a deposit.’ And I said, ‘it sure looks like they have their guns pulled’ and JJ said, ‘ My eye sight is better than yours and I don’t see any guns’ . Then we asked to talk to the chef and ……..”
No one can be more ponderous than that. Or so I thought until this laborious story. I thanked my lucky stars she began to include blood so I could bow out before passing out. Literally.
So maybe, in all honestly, Joe is right. As we change as we grow older. Sometime for the better , sometimes not.